ecerahs ramos: wi10 [cOnnections]...

I can honestly say that this semester has turned out to be a huge wake up call for me. Goals have been met and goals have been dismissed or pushed to the side. Many of lessons have been learned and have slowly begun to surface. Throughout the different experiences dealing with a variety of group members I’ve discovered a number of obsessions and fixations circling around myself that I’ve learned to control and tame. Through writing I’ve discovered a sort of outlet to express my true inner thoughts which may not be totally apparent in my physical work. Not simply writing, but different forms of writing to further expand other people’s understandings of what I’m initially trying to expose. Writing, being an integral part of the design process, has forever become a large part of my individual process because without it my process is not whole. Ambitions relevant to me are growing in quantity and in level of difficulty.

My individual goals set at the beginning of this semester were never lost within the experience. At times there was some doubt that they were getting left behind and forgotten, but every now and again they would poke their heads in, letting me know that they were not far behind. A major goal I had set for myself this semester was to avoid self doubt and have more confidence within myself. I tend to notice comparing myself to others who may seem to be better than me at a specific task. Instead, I tried to shadow those who were further skilled in tasks to gain a better understanding and comfort around those areas. So I no longer needed to feel that doubt or that lack of knowledge.

Dealing with the different numbers within the selected groups proved to be more complicated with the more people involved. The amount of difficulty expressing ones individual design voice started to become almost impossible towards the end in a group of twelve. Especially given that at least half of those voices were extremely overbearing and powerful. With a teeny, weenie, soft spoken voice such as my own I had to step outside of my comfort zone to get my points across and my ideas out. When working independently it’s all my voice, all my plans and all my work. Of course, it’s easy to hear me when I’m working solo. It’s not necessary to stand on top of a mountain and scream at the top of my lungs hoping someone will hear me and recognize me. The group of three was a bit more comfortable. I could easily get my proposals across and if ever I became stuck in a thought or hit a wall somewhere, I had someone to help me steer around it without my originality getting lost. It was a lot easier to piggy back off of merely two other people rather than five or even eleven. I felt my voice begin to become softer once we were in groups of six. It always seemed as if others ideas were more successful than mine. I think it was merely the way I presented them. More confidence next time for sure.

Writing was a huge part of the work process this semester. I found it to be extremely helpful when I couldn’t quick sketch or verbally explain my ideas. After taking the time to really sit down and analyze what I was trying to show and writing it down, a few things came easier. When dealing with a larger group the writing came in handy also. People comprehend things differently and in different ways so those who didn’t understand the visual could understand the written. I was introduced to multiple forms of writing that I had never been exposed to before, at least not in this context. Some came more effortless than others, but I’ve never been the writer I would like to be so no one type was simple for me. I hope I will continue to progress in my writing and become a more fluid writer.

A few of my goals have changed since the beginning of this semester. I no longer doubt myself as much; I just realize that I’m not always going to be the best at everything right away. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. Use your sources to further become who you want to be. My view on group work has also taken another direction. Proved to be difficult and unfair at times, group work will have to be something I work at individually. There will always be those who take control and those who slack. Usually the more people you have, the more opportunity there is for that. With the writing skills and people skills I have acquired over this semester I feel better equipped to engage in my third year.

Thank You.